A Story of 2 Men
THEIR LIVES
Both grew up in homes that were less than ideal. One had his mother die when he was young and had a father prone to drink and anger. The other saw his parents divorce when he was a teenager. Both signed up to serve in the armed forces as soon as they were old enough during the time of the Korean conflict. One joined the Marine Corps and became a mechanic maintaining armored vehicles, the other went into the Air Force with hopes of being a pilot, but his eyesight was not quite good enough and he became a munitions technician for jets. Both married while in the military and their eldest children, both girls, were born in military hospitals.Neither was much for travel. After leaving the military, each man held a single public sector job for decades until retirement, living in a single home for those same years. Both men enjoyed playing guitar with friends and occasionally at local venues.Both men spent a lot of time tinkering in the garage. One had 4 children, one had 3 children.Both have grandchildren, both are now well into retirement.
THEIR LEGACIES
In spite of the surface similarities, there was a key difference that dramatically impacted their legacy. One was a man of faith in God who kept his marriage vows - the ones that say "till death do us part" - for 46 years. The other kept his vows until the responsibility of fatherhood became more than he could handle. He divorced his wife after 10 years and married another woman who could focus her attention on him. So, here is the legacy of the man who divorced after 10 years: Among his children and grand-children, 10 marriages (of course some of those are repeats), 8 divorces, 5 children born out-of-wedlock, siblings that can hardly bear the sight of each other, grandchildren floundering in life. The legacy of the man who stayed the course: Among his children and grandchildren, 6 marriages, 1 divorce, no out-of-wedlock children. In addition to that, his children and adult grandchildren are married to believing spouses and furthering his legacy of faithfulness. Holidays and birthdays are a joyous time of family reunion. The father who didn't finish the job is my Dad. The father who stayed the course is my father-in-law Hal.
REDEMPTION
I have already talked about how my Dad's absence affected our family here and here. We ended up in an Assembly of God church in Fallbrook which just happened to be where Karen and her family were attending. Her brother and I became good friends. Then, when I was 13, Mom moved our family to Wyoming where she is from. What makes Hal's story even more compelling is this. He knew the sad statistics from my family of origin. After 5 years in Wyoming, I conspired with Hal's son to show up on their doorstep when I was a directionless 18-year-old, and the family took me in. Hal put his own reputation on the line to recommend me for my first two jobs, including one I had for over 8 years that supported me while I worked through college. And when it became clear that geography was destiny for his youngest daughter and I, he provided wise counsel. Later, he gave his blessing to my joining his family as son-in-law.
Coming from the background I did, I knew if I got married, I wanted it to last forever. But, when it came to fatherhood, I still felt the absence of a role model. Thankfully, in addition to my father-in-law, God put my in the company of other faithful dads. I watched them and their children and saw them 'getting it right'. They were and are great examples. For the longest time, I wrestled with the opening phrase from the Lord's prayer:
"Our Father, who art in heaven..." (Matt. 6:9)
A father in heaven seemed even more remote than my earthly father. But, from watching these men and from the blessing of my own 5 daughters, I have come to understand what a father's love is all about.
RESOLUTION
Men can and do have an influence on their children and grandchildren, and other men and their children. But, it doesn't happen by accident. The right kind of influence takes the intentionality captured so well in the Courageous Resolution. The verse from Joshua that sums up the resolution came at the end of his life. Joshua was an old man looking back at his own legacy of leadership. Early in his life (see Joshua 1), he was told three times by the Lord to be courageous. His spiritual father Moses was gone, and he was being handed a big responsibility to guide the nation of Israel. He took hold of the heritage he had, and the faithfulness of God he had seen, and lived a life of courage. At the end of the journey, he could say, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Men, regardless of what has happened up to this point (and believe me, I still fail as a father), we can resolve like Joshua to be the men God wants us to be.
Proverbs 27:17 > As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Ephesians 6:10 > Finally, my brethren, be strong in the lord and the power of his might.
Love this post. So amazing! =)
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