The Wonder

This time of year is 'Heartbreak Hill' for homeschooling.  Yes, the academic year is a bit over half complete, but strewn along the marathon trail are the well-laid plans of late autumn, now forcibly adjusted to the imperfect mix of teaching and children and curriculum.  So, it was timely that at a recent gathering of our homeschool support group, the topic of discussion was 'encouragement to finish well'.  As the evening went on and different fathers and mothers shared, I had a sense that there was an elusive truth yet to be spoken, one that we needed to hear.

The glaring fact is that while the dads like myself do their best to support the often invisible, overwhelming task, it is the moms who carry the load day in and day out.  More than anything, weariness is the badge of honor which these mothers attempt to conceal.  And so it was fitting that a mother, just as we were about to wrap up the evening, shared these thoughts, as best as I can remember:

I never want to lose the wonder. 

I never want to lose the wonder, the realization of the awesome gift I have been given in my children and the chance to teach them at home.

I get to be the person who listens to my child when they read for first time, to be there for so many first things.

There are mornings I wake up so tired my eyes feel like they have sand in them.

After over 20 years of doing this, you would think I, we -- I could never do this without my husband -- would have it figured out, but I have never felt more slammed than in the past few months.

Some years I don't know if we have gotten a lot of homeschooling accomplished, but we have done a lot of living.

But we serve a good God and He gives us grace.

I have a 4 year old who is discovering so many things for the first time, and a 26-year-old who wants to know how to train their own 2-year-old.  And all the others in between.  The demands of parenting only get more complicated as your children grow.  But we serve a good God.

From eternity, our God chose our children and your children and said "I want this one to be with you, and this one to be with you, and so on."  Because He knew just which family our children needed.

This is my prayer, that I never lose the wonder of the awesome gift God has given me in my children and the privilege of teaching them to know Him.

And that was the truth, the benediction, the Good Word we needed to hear that night.